Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My Mother's Journey Through Breast Cancer: Post Bi-Lateral Mastectomies and Partial Reconstruction

First of all, thank you all for your prayers and comments on Facebook. Words cannot express how wonderful it feels to know my mom has so much support! For those who have been around throughout the years, we appreciate you keeping in touch. For those of you who have come out of the woodwork, it is wonderful to hear from you all again, especially in my mom's time of need. Everyone has been wonderful through this whole ordeal and we appreciate it more than you could know.

Now for the greasy, grimy details from the beginning of yesterday.

Yesterday, we arrived at about 5:40 am. Mom smoked her "last" cigarette even though St. Francis is a smoke-free campus. Don't judge her, she's using this ordeal to quit smoking so I think hospital security will get over it. As a matter of fact, she's gone over 36 hours without a cigarette and I've only heard her complain about it 5 times that I can remember. She stops complaining every time I tell her she's only allowed to have some of my spit-less tobacco pouches to take the edge off. She makes a nasty, scrunched up face and then I don't hear about it again for another couple hours.

Her surgery was supposed to be 6 to 7 hours - 4 to 4 1/2 hours to check the left sentinel lymph nodes and do the mastectomies and 2 to 2 1/2 hours for the partial reconstruction. Well, it took a lot longer for both. The mastectomies took longer because of waiting on pathology to let them know whether or not there was cancer in her left lymph nodes, which there was not. The reconstruction took longer because Dr. Lee is very, very, VERY meticulous. Since she has to have radiation, they couldn't do the whole reconstruction process. They only put what are called "spacers" in. My mom's BMI was not high enough for them to take parts of her skin from her back, thigh or butt so Doctor Lee used cadaver skin and yes that means they used a dead person's skin. It was taken from a deceased person who is a donor and sent to a lab to be processed. After it has been processed it can be used for things such as skin graphs and spacers for breast reconstruction. Once applied during an operation, over time, your body accepts it as its own. The cells will even multiply as if they were never dead! Gross at first, but I think it's really cool now. Altogether, the surgery took a little over 9 hours. Once the surgeries were over Dr. Lee told us that in about 45 minutes one of us would be allowed to go back and visit my mom. I left my Dad no choice and told him he was the "chosen one" which only made sense. He obviously agreed.

One hour later, a nurse came out and said it would only be a little longer until one of us could see her. I told her what Dr. Lee had said. She said the doctors have no idea what they're talking about and not to listen to them. Then she said in another half hour or so my dad could see her. Forty-five minutes later, another nurse said my dad could see her shortly. I explained how anxious and irritated we were with what everyone was telling us. She said not to listen to the doctors and to be patient (hmm, that's interesting...a NURSE was the last one to tell us a load of crap; NOT a doctor). Thirty minutes later I was pacing. I was pissed. Even my Dad was irritated. If you know my dad, you know he's like the most patient person in the world! After 15 more minutes passed my dad started pacing. He was watching the Operation Time-line screen like he would a pot of water he was trying to boil. If he could've made that screen catch on fire and explode he would've. He used the phone at the desk - I WAS SO PROUD!!! Normally he doesn't do stuff like that. Normally I am the outspoken, to the point, kind of person. I was running on two hours of sleep, so I wasn't up to par...I suppose.

Anyway, the nurse told him the same stupid shit. Even he rolled his eyes when he hung up the phone. What she did say that was different was the fact that they were actually getting ready to take her up to her room and they would just take us all with them. FINALLY!!!!!...sheesh...

She looked FANTASTIC!!!! I've been taking pictures and making notes throughout this whole kit-n-kaboodle for her Survivor Scrapbook we are going to make, so I took a picture while she was kind of out of it - to prevent an outburst even though I know she would thank me later - but she woke up to the sound of the camera shutter and said she wanted one of her smiling. When I took the picture of her smiling, I was in awe at how wonderful she looked and she didn't believe me when I told her that. I showed her and she immediately asked me to put it as her profile picture on Facebook. I'm still speechless about how wonderful she looks considering what she's been through.

Doctor Lee, Doctor King and Chris (a nurse my mom requested because he treated her so well when she had her portocath surgery and because we found out we are related) all said she could have soft foods when she could keep water, tea and Powerade down. When she got situated in her room, the nurses said "absolutely not." Well, that didn't go over so well. We were tired of hearing about how the doctors didn't know what they were talking about, but whatever. I was over arguing with these idiots.

Today has been a roller coaster. The nurses weren't coming in when they were supposed to. The anesthesia had worn off completely so the pain was worse. We found out the computers were down and that's why the nurses were having troubles and because they weren't coming around, my mom wasn't getting the pain meds she needed. They had brought her ice packs, but didn't put them on her and we didn't find them until it was too late. Finally, I pressed the little red button and let them know she needed pain meds. When the nurse gave her the pain meds she said she needed to empty my mom's drains.

Now these drains are not like a catheter and urine bag, not exactly anyway. These are four, skinny little tubes - two for each side of the chest - protruding from the lateral parts of her chest. Each tube has a bulb at the end of it that resembles a grenade. So the nurse showed me how to empty them into the little measuring cups, how to read the measuring cups (I was a little insulted by this considering my aunt was my science teacher and I have known how to read in milliliters since 6th grade, but not everyone is as smart as I am so I let it go...lmao) and she told me I will have to record the amount of blood in a little booklet they will give us when she checks out. This little booklet we're going to get must be kept and shown to Doctor Lee at her appointments until otherwise notified.

Two hours later my mom needed more pain meds. This time they could give her the pills because "they seemed to work better" even though the real reason was because it had been long enough since the last dose of pills (at 12:48 pm) that they could give them to her again (at 6:30 pm). Doctor Lee came in before the nurse gave her the pain killers. He said he wanted to empty her drains. I asked him if I could watch because I had heard he does it different than how the nurse had shown me. He was excited and BOY WAS IT DIFFERENT! I am so glad I can tell a load of bullshit from the truth. I also took advantage of the time with Doctor Lee to tell on the nurses and even went as far as telling him how they said not to listen to the doctors. (Yeah, I'm a tattletale. I will NOT have my family being mistreated.) He said, "oh really" and then said he was sorry they'd brought the ice packs, but hadn't given them to her. I told him that I liked his style and when I'm old enough for a lift, I'd be going to him. He laughed.

Doctor Lee helped out tremendously. He took care of my mom and made me feel better about the whole situation. Now the night nurses and doctors are on duty. The night nurses are great and hopefully we won't need a night shift doctor. My dad has decided to stay another night with my mom. I think that is a great idea. As much as I want to stay with her, I still think it's best my dad stays. He can lift her and move her up on the bed when she slides down too low and give her that extra push when she can't get up from bed to go to the bathroom or go on a walk. Although it's under these circumstances, at least they're getting to spend some time together and they don't get that much anymore.

Thanks again for everyone's thoughts and prayers! Although the bulk of this is over, she still has radiation, the rest of her reconstruction and growing her hair back. Speaking of growing her hair back - her new family nickname is "Peach."

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